Rex Ryan Targets Condors and League

In a statement made earlier today, Rex Ryan told the media, "I believe this is the year we are going to win the Super Bowl," the Jets coach said. "I thought we'd win the first couple of years. I guarantee we'll win it this year."

Ryan went on to say, "The message to the rest of the league is, hey, the Jets are coming, and we're going to give you everything we got. I think that's going to be more than you can handle. For those cockeyed birds out west (Los Angeles Condors), we'll be sure to welcome you to the league with a complimentary list the following day of players out for the season."

He ended with this, "What do you get when you cross a Tupperware party and dude? Apparently a new football team."

Los Angeles takes on the Jets in New York in week 17.

Rumor: Tim Tebow to Los Angeles

It was rumored that the Los Angeles Condors contacted Tim Tebow, who was recently released by the New England Patriots, if he would be interested in taking snaps at tight end. Tebow wrote on twitter, "I will remain in relentless pursuit of continuing my lifelong dream of being an NFL quarterback." 

The Condors are struggling all over the field, primarily at tight end, but may consider offering him the quarterback position sometime this season.

Game 1 - Condors @ Broncos

"To all my fantasy owners who picked me...you're welcome." Peyton Manning

If the L.A. Condors had a crystal ball that saw the future, they would have hoped the lightning storm delayed the game longer than 33 minutes. Manning connected for a record-tying seven touchdown passes. Something this immortal hadn't been done in 44 years.

The Condors were being picked apart Manning as the receivers were burning the defense all over the field. Manning had created a storm himself in L.A.'s NFL debut; the perfect storm. The Broncos were relentless in their 49-0 victory.

Wes Welker looked as if he was at home with the highest receptions of nine. Demaryius Thomas and surprising play maker, Julius Thomas both had excellent contributions with five receptions each, over 271 yards and four touchdowns in total.

"I don't like excuses but I do think that lightning delay did slow us down," Manning said. "You guys have seen teams break it down: You come up for the team prayer, you put your hands in and you say, 'Broncos on 3,' and you go out to the field."

"We did it three times tonight," Manning said. "We did it, went back and sat down for 10 minutes, and came back up again. 'Broncos on 3,' now sit down for another 10 minutes. I know they had to deal with, too, but it took us a while to get started."

John-David Henry of the Condors threw for 210 yards with 4 interceptions. Wide receivers Jamar Wilson and Marcus Payne appeared to be running wrong routes, and at one point, ran into each other. Regardless of their poor running, Wilson had 107 yards reception and Payne recorded 103 on the night. Clyde Murphy, the tight end, was slow off the line and failed to get open. Vinnie Tucci, the running back, was the only glimmer of hope in L.A.'s offense. Tucci rushed for 121 yards, averaging 5.6 yards a carry. The offense was able to get down into field goal range three times, but the kicker, Chris Pike, missed either left or right each time. He blamed the laces not being out as the reason for his missed field goal attempts.

The Los Angeles Condors will take on the New York Giants next Sunday, in what they hope is a better outcome.

Key Players to Watch

QB) John-David Henry: has a good IQ of the game and a strong arm

RB) Vinnie Tucci: explosive, has great vision, but fumbles too often

WR) Jamar Wilson: superior athlete, fast, has height and great spectacular hands, but occassionaly runs wrong routes

WR) Marcus Payne: similar to Wilson in athletic ability, but hands aren't always reliable

TE) Clyde Murphy: style and built are much like Gronk

Kick Returner and Punt Returner) A.J. Williams: fearless and a freak of an athlete, fastest on team

Field Goal Kicker) Chris Pike: has the boot to kick it far, but far too inconsistent

Defensive Lineman) Billy "Sack'em" Sacket: mean hitting big man with quick feet and a Michael Strahan personality

Safety) Louis Cruz: great instincts and vision, hands of a receiver

The inexperience as a result from the youth of the Condors roster plagues the team. The average age of a players is 23. There has yet to be seen any chemistry on the field, but this is a building year and an opportunity for players to gain experience and knowledge of the game, as well as that chemistry between one another. Coach recognizes this is an extremely athletic bunch, and will continue to challenge them in order to get the best out of them.

Preseason Knockout

If the preseason is any dictation of how the regular season will go, the L.A. Condors are in for long, long season. In their first preseason game against the Seattle Seahawks, Tarvaris Jackson threw for 217 yards in 12 for 12 attempts and Christine Michael ran for 139 yards in only 17 carries, averaging 8.2 yards per carry. The Condors lost that game 41-0.

Things did not get much better in their second preseason game against the San Francisco 49ers. The Condors got blanked again as Frank Gore ran for two touchdowns and 98 yards in two carries. Gore made it appear as if he was playing Madden on "Super Easy" difficulty. He wasn't the only one running well, LaMichael James ran for a total of 122 yards in 13 carries, with a pair of touchdowns himself. Final score, 52-0 San Francisco.

When it seemed like things could only go up from here, they continued to plummet even harder. Sam Bradford of the St. Louis Rams simply played out of his mind. He was perfect in his 16 attempts, throwing for 220 yards and four touchdowns. Isaiah Pead and Daryl Richardson carried the ball five times each, finding one too many holes in the Condors Swiss Cheese Defense. They ran for a combined 132 yards and three touchdowns. Rams took it with ease 65-0, leaving the Condors dazed and confused, as if they had been hit with a flash bang.

In the Los Angeles Condors preseason finale against the Arizona Cardinals, sports nation began wondering how long it would take for L.A. to get their first points. In the opening kickoff, A.J. Williams of the Condors broke two tackles and performed a quick a spin move off a defender to find a gaping hole. Wilson took advantage of that hole, juking out one defender and stiff-arming the kicker to the ground, following up with an impression of Usain Bolt  in a straightaway sprint to the end zone. It had been the first points the team had registered during preseason, but they would be outdone with the likes of Ryan Lindley throwing for 314 yards and three touchdowns, and the trio of Ryan Williams, Andre Ellington and Stepfan Taylor running a combined 275 yards and four touchdowns. Final score, Cardinals 49, Condors 7.